Ramesh S. Balsekar teaches that all actions and events including the search for enlightenment-are God's actions and events.
For it is God (or Consciousness) that is functioning through all the billions of sentient and insentient beings. This functioning is all-pervasive and totally impersonal, and it is against this background that the illusion of "me" as a separate entity arises.
As part of the process of manifestation, impersonal Consciousness identifies itself as personal consciousness, thereby creating the "me"-entity with its sense of individual free will and personal doership.
The spiritual search is simply the reverse of this process, in which the apparently separate "me"-entity with the sense of individual free will and personal doership gradually weakens, finally dissolving back into the impersonal Consciousness from which it arose.

If we accept that, in common with all other events in manifestation, the spiritual search is merely part of an impersonal process that is moved entirely by the Will of God (or Consciousness, or Totality, or the Absolute label It how you will), this has highly significant repercussions.
For this teaching necessarily implies that neither the seeker nor the guru can in any way influence or determine the form the search takes or its outcome. The seeker's seeking is truly God's action. It was God's Will that turned a person into a seeker, and it is He who will decide what sort of spiritual practice or sadhana (if any) the seeker will do, and when (if ever) enlightenment will happen in that person's case.

Ramesh, therefore, does not prescribe any particular practice or advocate any method for attaining enlightenment. Rather, he teaches that the process of seeking (whatever the form it takes) can only be witnessed and, in due course, it will turn out that the one who witnessed ó the individual ó never existed.
The witnessing is and has always been impersonal. The one who is seeking is that which is sought. The seeker and the sought are "this-here-now" ó that which is always present: the sense of presence, Consciousness.

So, dear reader, if you are looking for a "how to" guide giving some kind of method or "recipe" for enlightenment, you are bound to be disappointed. Ramesh maintains that nothing can be done to speed up the spiritual process ó no personal efforts by the seeker, nor the guru's support, teaching or power will help.
For some seekers this understanding brings about a sense of relief and freedom ó freedom from the sense of responsibility, failure and guilt. For others, the opposite effect occurs: a sense of helplessness, defeat and fatalism arises with the understanding that, as mere puppets in God's hands, our fate is not ours to control.

However it affects you, the good news is that it may be possible to gauge your progress along "the pathless path." Certain indicators or signs may be witnessed in the here/now of the Present Moment, because the process of dis-identification has certain discernible stages through which the spiritual seeker passes before enlightenment occurs.
These stages, or rather the seeker's attitudes towards enlightenment which underlie them, may be summarized thus:

1. "Enlightenment must happen!" ó a conviction that enlightenment is something which can be achieved; its attainment depends solely on the intensity of my own personal volition, efforts and deeds to accomplish it.
2. "Enlightenment may or may not happen" ó the recognition that the occurrence of enlightenment is not actually in my hands, but in God's hands alone.
3. "Enlightenment? Who Cares!" ó the individual seeker (the "me"-entity), the seeking and the sought (the goal of enlightenment) have dissolved; only the impersonal What-is remains. At this stage, it is recognized that the one who is seeking is and always has been that which was sought: Consciousness itself.

Ramesh admits ó and this is probably the best news for the spiritual aspirant at large ó that a seeker might not need to pass through each and every stage of the disidentification process.
During the process quantum jumps are possible; enlightenment may happen at any time, from any level, without any pre-condition. Again, it all depends on God's Will.
And Ramesh offers further comfort by pointing out that, "Out of billions of people, only a few are spiritual seekers and you are one of them. God's grace has already descended on you." He often quotes Ramana Maharshi's saying: "Your head is already in the tiger's mouth," and explains: "You are already on your way to enlightenment. The tiger may take his time. So what! The tiger will surely snap his jaws. There is no need to worry or hurry."

In fact, he declares that, "The greatest sign of 'progress' is the lack of concern about progress, and the absence of anxiety about enlightenment. When the seeker, in his deepest core, has intuitively understood that he does not exist as an individual entity and that, according to destiny or God's Will, enlightenment may or may not happen in the case of this particular body-mind organism in such a 'state' enlightenment may actually occur at any moment. The seeker's attitude in this penultimate state prior to enlightenment is: 'I don't care whether enlightenment happens or not. And I really don't care even if I do care!'"
By way of illustration, Ramesh often tells the following story:

The desire for enlightenment once drove an earnest and highly-determined individual to spend several years in the company of a spiritual teacher. During these years he proved himself a devoted disciple who was totally committed to the attainment of spiritual realization. When the time came for him to leave and return to his native place, his guru made him promise that he would write every month, reporting on his spiritual progress. The disciple gave his promise and received his guru's blessing. They said their farewells and parted.

The disciple had been gone just over a month when his first letter arrived. "I am experiencing the Oneness with the Universe," he wrote. The master said nothing, but crumpled up the letter and dropped it in the bin.

The next month's report came promptly and stated: "The Divinity present in all things has been revealed to me. I behold It in a flower, in a stone, in the very air, everywhere." Again the master read the letter, crumpled it up and tossed it into the bin without a word.

For four months the letters arrived regularly. In his third message the disciple declared: "The mystery of the One and the Many has been revealed to me. I now know and truly comprehend there is no difference between you and me or anything else." Once read, this missive also ended up in the guru's waste-paper basket. In the fourth letter the disciple said, "No one is born, lives or dies, because there is no one who exists." This letter too was read without comment and followed its predecessors, slipping with a rustle into the trash.

After the fourth month, however, no further letters arrived. No letter in the fifth month, no letter in the sixth month, no letter for a whole year! As the time passed and brought no news, the master became increasingly curious as to what had happened with his beloved disciple. Eventually, he wrote to him inquiring about his spiritual progress, and reminding the disciple of his promise to keep him informed.

Some time later, the guru was handed a letter addressed in a familiar hand. It was from his distant disciple. The guru opened it and read, and laughed out loud with obvious delight. His attendant disciples were puzzled as to what had prompted this outburst of joy. Beaming gladly, the guru passed them the letter. They saw that it contained just three words, and the three words were: "Enlightenment? Who cares!"

This book will probably not find its way into the hands of many people who share the total lack of concern for enlightenment expressed by the disciple in Ramesh's story. This is right and fitting, since the book is intended for readers who do still care about enlightenment, and for all those who remain perplexed about life and its purpose and who yearn, however sporadically, for peace, for final existential clarity.
So if you experience this perplexity, this yearning, and if you believe that enlightenment exists, and if you entertain the (mistaken) notion that, once attained, it can be enjoyed by "you" as permanent, uninterrupted happiness, you are advised to read on. As you do so, you will be struck by the gentle persuasiveness of Ramesh's reasoning, and come across many valuable and profoundly transformative insights which, I trust, will benefit you greatly.

As the discussions unfold, you will also catch glimpses of the bitter-sweet and painful predicament in which I, the editor, found myself as my time with Ramesh drew to an end. Certain aspects of his teaching troubled me deeply, and you will witness how my growing disquiet leads to a series of highly charged encounters in which Ramesh appears unable or unwilling to dispel my doubts. Eventually, I find myself left with no option but to kneel one last time before my guru, telling him that I was leaving him for good and spelling out the reasons why.

From Ramesh to Adi Shankara...

"What the seeker is seeking, is seeking. The one who is seeking is already what he is seeking: the sense of presence, Consciousness." Hearing these words from Ramesh's lips, a deep understanding occurred. That is how it all began. Meeting Ramesh, the guru, and recognizing the true Self in his presence, was the most mysterious, wonderful and powerful event. This was followed, three years later, by the most heart-rending experience imaginable, as I knelt before him and told him that I was leaving him and why.

Dear reader, please don't get me wrong. I am not denying the validity of Ramesh's teachings-I certainly wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of publishing a series of books on them if I thought they were worthless.
But I feel it is my dharma to reflect briefly on the unsettling events documented in the final chapters of this book, and to clarify, once and for all, the grounds of my "quarrel" with Ramesh.
What troubled me most about his teachings was the confusion as to whether there was any way in which a seeker could hasten (or retard) his spiritual progress. For anyone on the spiritual path, this is obviously going to be a crucial issue. Are there any do's and don'ts that a seeker should follow? Is pleasing the guru (for instance with money) a sadhana that hastens the advent of enlightenment?
Ramesh, as you will have noticed, offers no clear guidelines on this matter. In fact, he contradicts himself repeatedly. On the one hand he says, "Whatever happens, is willed and destined by God ó God does it all. Therefore nothing can be done by the seeker and the guru."
But then he also says that the guru, and his presence, and the seeker's pleasing the guru, all do something for the seeker's progress. And also that clinging to the guru, and wanting to be a guru are obstructions to spiritual progress. As I see it, this inconsistency stems from the fact that he repeatedly switches between two distinct and mutually exclusive standpoints: one which sees things from an individual perspective, and one which is rooted in the Absolute. Let me briefly expand on each of these in turn.

The individual standpoint is that habitually adopted by all of us ó seekers and non-seekers alike.
From this standpoint, the seeker and the guru exist as individual entities in phenomenality; they have personal volition and doership; and they can influence the advent of enlightenment one way or the other.
From this perspective, it is possible to list certain do's and don'ts regarding the spiritual search, or indeed any other aspect of life.

This can be contrasted with the Absolute standpoint or what Ramesh refers to as the enlightened standpoint.
The perception from this standpoint is that whatever happens in manifestation is God's Will. Since we are merely instruments of God through which He works His Will, there is nothing that the guru or the seeker can do to influence the occurrence of enlightenment one way or the other.
Indeed, seen from this standpoint, the seeker and his search, the guru and his teaching, together with the goal of enlightenment and the concomitant issue of how to hasten (or avoid hindering) one's spiritual progress, are understood to be mere changing appearances in the Cosmic Dream of God or Consciousness, and are therefore, in toto, illusory.

Clearly, these two standpoints are diametrically opposed to each other, and yet they run like twin strands through Ramesh's teaching.
I would suggest that, when combined in this way, they are almost bound to generate confusion in his audience. Now that we are aware of these two standpoints, however, it should be possible for us to review Ramesh's teachings with them in mind, identifying the context in which each aspect of the teaching is being presented. And since all aspects of the teaching can be related to either the individual or the Absolute standpoint, it is now up to us to choose ó of course, as God's instruments the one which best suits our particular understanding and intuition.

Believe me, it is only after much heart-searching that I have dared to include this critique. In doing so, I may perhaps be going against the Indian tradition, which governs conduct in the guru-disciple relationship.
This tradition holds that, while the guru still lives, the disciple should not divulge or comment on his teachings unless explicitly authorized to do so. Should a disciple go against this tradition, he forever forfeits his chance of reaching enlightenment.
Moreover, the disciple is told that he will burn eternally in the fires of the worst the seventh hell. Having decided to speak up without the personal permission of my guru, it will be evident that I really don't care about my own enlighten-ment any longer, or about an afterlife on earth, in heaven or hell. That is indeed so, but ó as we have seen from the mantra story in the Epilogue ó this lack of concern is not without precedent.

Be that as it may, I found that Ramesh's teachings triggered a whole new set of questions which eventually led me to study the teachings of Sri Adi Shankara, the eighth century master who established Advaita Vedanta at a central position in the Hindu tradition. In the process of doing so, all my doubts were dispelled; and all questions, all yearning and the longing which had been with me for as long as I could remember, were finally dissolved in the transcendent understanding of what "I" really am ó prior to all categories of guru and disciple, Gods and fools.

Some readers may be surprised to hear that Ramesh's main tenet, "Whatever happens is willed and destined by God (the individual doer doesn't exist!)," is not the final and supreme teaching in Shankara's Advaita.
Ramesh's understanding of total destiny is still merely an explanation of phenomenal manifestation. While he emphasizes the supremacy of Consciousness or God pervading and functioning through all the various components of this manifestation (including the guru and the seeker), Ramesh's assertion that the entire manifestation is pre-programmed and is unfolding impersonally according to God's Will is actually no more than an idea.
Admittedly, this idea encompasses the biggest possible picture, but it is still just an idea. The picture it paints is nothing but speculation, on a par with all the other religious doctrines that speak of God and His manifested creation. But in Truth, what we really are transcends all phenomenal appearance, including the "me" and God, both of which are mere phantoms that never existed.

Furthermore, classical Advaita makes it quite clear that all spiritual benefits and impediments to which Ramesh keeps referring, are merely products of the illusory realm of seeming diversity where the seeker imagines that the spiritual search takes place.
Even if seekers like you and me keep asking about them, classical Advaita will not dwell on the ways the guru and the seeker differ with regard to their spiritual understanding and their experiences of, or attitudes towards, events that occur in their respective daily lives. It may well be that, compared to other people, the guru has effortless access to a whole range of spiritual "goodies," feeling no enmity, guilt, or pride etc.
But even if such descriptions and comparisons are true, they relate solely to illusory phenomenal appearances; they are therefore as useless to the seeker as a wife's attempts to accurately describe the sensation of childbirth are to her husband.

Classical Advaita wants the seeker to realize just who or what he really is. And that realization can only be pure (objectless) knowing, where what one knows is nothing more or less than what one is. In that knowing, all comparisons dissolve, as does any concern with the quantitative or qualitative classification of experience before and after enlightenment.

Since the seeker's questioning can only occur on the phenomenal level of appearances, classical Advaita must necessarily engage the seeker at this level-the level of the limited individual standpoint. However, no matter what the question is, classical Advaita always calls the seeker away from the illusory phenomenal appearances of objects (including the body-mind organisms of the guru and seeker) that he takes to be real. Each and every one of the seeker's questions are used as stepping stones (and nothing else) for a totally uncompromising investigation into the pure, direct experience of one's own immediate reality ó prior to all phenomenal appearances. Through the examination of his own direct subjective experience, the seeker is made to turn around and face what he really is ó pure Subjectivity.

In the instant of this recognition and understanding, all differences dissolve. All differentiation ceases. There is no separated seeker, divided from what is sought. There is no ignorant disciple, divided from an illuminating guru. Such divisions are transcended through a reflective intuition which returns back to That which underlies all seeming thought and intellect.
Thus returned, the seeker disappears, and with him vanish the guru and the entire manifestation. (Hence Ramana Maharshi's declaration that "There is no creation, no dissolution, no free will, no predestination, no path, no goal.")
What remains is what the seeker really is, was and always will be prior to the arising of all perception and the intervention of any ideas pertaining to the time/space and cause/effect qualifications of phenomenality. Without any "one" who knows or is, pure knowing and being remain. And this being transcends all discussion about the illusory mechanics of phenomenal appearance-worldly, spiritual or otherwise.
It transcends even silence. Therefore, it surely transcends what Ramesh describes as enlightenment: the apperception that God's entire manifestation including the guru and the seeker unfolds (and keeps existing!) without any individual "me"-entity with its sense of personal will and doership.

But according to classical Advaita, where doership ends, no manifestation remains. Without a sense of personal doership to produce the illusory appearance of partial perception, there is no world of seeming names and forms and qualities. These partial appearances of limited objects which make up the world are all created by the sense of a personally acting perceiver. This perceiver sees particular forms, thinks of them through particular names, and values their particular qualities.

So, while the world still appears, the seeker has no option but to care about progress and enlightenment; and this caring is, in fact, the positive and essential heart of the spiritual search. The seeker's fundamental aim is not just to arrive at the point where he doesn't care about enlightenment any longer, and to halt there, waiting to see what is going to happen.
And so it is that, at that point of the spiritual search (as at all others), Advaita constantly prompts the seeker to keep searching beneath his superficial and frustrating desires for limited transient things until that which is truly worth caring for is "found," or rather realized as his own being.

This search drives him to perform sadhana a positive effort of striving towards Truth and in this sense, seeking out a guru and listening attentively to him (or her) is surely sadhana too.
Thus, anyone who follows this course of action cannot truly claim not to care whether enlightenment happens or not.
If the disciple is honest, he will admit that his association with the guru is motivated by his desire for lasting peace and happiness. Although he may not know it, what he seeks is what he really is.
Enlightenment or self-realization means simply returning to one's own true nature which is the unaffected Source and Center of all caring and love. All our experiences express that unaffected Center. The whole apparent world and all our desires revolve around it; all that we do, say, think and feel expresses it; but when we return to what it is, in each one of us, there all expressions of caring or not caring are superfluous.

...and Back to Ramesh Again

Since leaving Ramesh at the end of February 1996, I have visited him twice at the traditional festival of Guru Purnima.
This is a time when disciples renew their dedication to their guru ó something which, I thought, was especially necessary in my case.
I also met him briefly in June 1998, while he was in Germany giving a seminar. This was shortly after the publication of the first Neti Neti book documenting his teachings Enlightenment: An Outbreak. I presented copies of this book to him and to his disciples Mark and Margarete Beuret, Elke von der Osten, and Wayne Liquorman.

Then, on December 16, 1998, I went to Bombay to present Ramesh with a copy of the second Neti Neti book on his teachings, Enlightenment May Or May Not Happen (the prequel to this volume). Here is the story:

I arrived at Ramesh's residence at about 11.20 a.m.; satsang had already begun. I counted 42 pairs of shoes outside the entrance of his flat. I entered the flat, took the book out of my bag, and sat down on an empty chair outside the small but crowded satsang room.
Through the open door, I could see and hear Ramesh, seated about 4 meters away.

I waited for what seemed an eternity while an ex-Rajneeshi in his late 50s spoke at length about his life and his experiences in the spiritual search. When he had had his say, Ramesh gestured to Murty's wife Kalandi and said, "Well, let us have the bhajans, now."
I got up from my seat and entered the room, making my way towards Ramesh. I knelt down in front of him and namasted greeting him in the Indian tradition with palms folded together. I laid the book on the floor before him, bowed down and touched his feet. I heard Ramesh say:

Ramesh: Oh, it is Madhukar! Where did you come from? From Pune?

Madhukar: Yes.

Ramesh: How are you doing? Are you keeping well?

Madhukar: Thank you, Ramesh. Yes, I am doing very well. You too, are you keeping well?

Ramesh: Oh, yes, quite well, indeed. (Madhukar touches first his forehead then his heart with the book, and then offers it to Ramesh saying:)

Madhukar: Here is my next book on your teaching. I came today to present it to you. It has just come from the press. (When Ramesh receives the book, Madhukar again bows down to his feet in silence.)

Ramesh: Thank you very much, Madhukar. Congratulations! This is your second book, isn't it? How many more will come?

Madhukar: Yes, it's the second book. I don't know how many more will come. Quite a few, I guess.

Ramesh: Nobody knows. (Now Ramesh looks at the title page, then at the back cover and then he reads out loud:) "Enlightenment May Or May Not Happen." (He opens the book and reads on:) "Talks on Enlightenment with Ramesh S. Balsekar." Madhukar, you must sign this book for me.

Madhukar: Oh, please, no. I can't do that. I am nobody. This book is as much your book as it is mine. Perhaps, it is actually more your book. I just made it. It just came into existence. That's all.

Ramesh: How have you been doing all this time? Are you keeping well?

Madhukar: Thank you for asking. I am doing absolutely fine.

Ramesh: You see, I remembered you quite often. My wife Sharda and I remember you almost every day. You see, my wife's sister's husband is also called Madhukar. Whenever we speak of him, we come to speak of you. While we call him "Madhukar," we use the name "Thompson Madhukar" for you. This is how I remember you quite often.
(To the others) You see, Madhukar lives in the most spacious, most beautiful, most luxurious and most fantastic apartment. And he paid a fortune for it, didn't you, Madhukar?

Madhukar: That's right.

Ramesh: He lives in a pyramid. How many rooms are there in that pyramid? I heard there are only four rooms like yours.

Madhukar: There are eighteen rooms in the pyramid I live in.

Hilda: Where does he live?

Ramesh: Oh, he lives right in the middle of the Osho ashram in Pune. Yes, he has a really fantastic place there. So I was told. Madhukar, why don't you lay out your book over there? (Ramesh points to the table on which his books are laid out for sale.) You can sell it here.

Madhukar: That's great! Thank you very much for the offer and the money that comes from the sales will go to you all of it. That's how I can do some good for you.

Ramesh: Thank you very much, Madhukar.

Madhukar: Thank you for all, Ramesh.

Ramesh: Well, shall we have the bhajans? Madhukar, please, sit right here. (Ramesh point to an empty space beside him. Three bhajans are sung. When they come to an end, Ramesh asks:) Madhukar, how much are the books?

Madhukar: 480 Rupees per copy.

Ramesh: 420?

Madhukar: Four, eight, zero.

Ramesh (laughing): I will ask for 500. It makes it easier change-wise. Hundred Rupee bills are easier to handle.

Madhukar: You can ask whatever price you like. Whatever comes from the sales goes to you anyway.

Copies of Enlightenment May Or May Not Happen were delivered to Ramesh by Zen Publications in time for the next satsang on Thursday, December 17.
I also sent him copies of Enlightenment: An Outbreak. Before returning to Pune, I asked the proprietor of Zen Publications, Yogesh Sharma, to call Ramesh and tell him that the copies were complimentary, and that he needed only to ring Zen Publications in order to get new stocks. Shortly after my arrival in Pune the next day, I received a call from Yogesh, saying, "Ramesh asked me to call you. He would like you to call him in Bombay." Wondering what it was that Ramesh wished to talk about, I gave him a ring.

Madhukar: Hi, Ramesh! This is Madhukar. How are you?

Ramesh: Oh, it's you, Madhukar! Good that you call.

Madhukar: Yogesh said you wanted to speak with me, so here I am.

Ramesh: You see, I wanted to pass this on to you since a long time. But we haven't met for such a long time and I never got around to tell you: the big cash gift I gave to Maharaj in the late 1970s was 1000 Rupees. That was one fifth of my monthly salary. It was a big amount for me, and for Maharaj too, at that time. I know in today's money this amount looks like chicken shit; it is not comparable with what some of the people are giving me today. But let me tell you: at that time it was a big amount for me.

Madhukar: I know it must have been a lot. I was doing business with India in those years. As I remember it, the Deutsch Mark/Indian Rupee ratio was about 1 : 4 in those days.

Ramesh: That's correct. And the US Dollar was not even 9 Rupees yet at that time. You see, I have been wanting to tell you this for a long time. But I never got round to telling you.

Madhukar: I want to thank you for taking the trouble to let me know this. Thank you, Ramesh.

Ramesh: I want to thank you too, Madhukar, for the books that Yogesh has delivered to me.

Madhukar: I have advised Yogesh to deliver more books to you at any time. You just need to give him a ring. And, as I said, the books are complimentary.

Ramesh: Thank you, Madhukar. Thank you.

Madhukar: I want to thank you too, Ramesh. I want to thank you for the teaching. And I want to thank you for the understanding that I have received from you.

Ramesh: Are your other books going to be ready by May (1999)? Are they in the making?

Madhukar: Oh, yes, very much so. I hope they will be published within two or three months.

Ramesh: Oh, really! That means the manuscripts must be already completed.

Madhukar: Definitely. At present, I am already in the process of designing and shaping the form of the books.

Ramesh: That's amazing! You must have been working a lot.

Madhukar: I am working day and night. I am doing nothing else. The working mind you know!
Why do you ask about the specific May publishing deadline? Did you think of the coming seminar in Germany? Are you asking if they will be out in time for it?

Ramesh: No, I am not asking with a specific reason in mind. I read in Enlightenment May Or May Not Happen that your other books are scheduled for publication for May 1999. I just wondered if your schedule is really viable.
OK, Madhukar, stay well. I wish you all the best.

Madhukar: Thank you for everything, Ramesh. I wish you all the best, too. Good bye.

And now, looking back, it seems that my leaving Ramesh in 1996 was exactly what needed to happen at that time to this body-mind organism called Madhukar. My un-answered questions lead me to the doorway of Sri Shankara's final Advaita Vedanta teaching and understanding.

And so, after all that happened, I find myself at this present moment saying from the depth of my heart:
"Thank you, Ramesh, for leading me to Shankara's door, and thank you, Sri Shankara, for leading me back to Ramesh."

The circle is complete and my journey with my masters has come to an end in an endless obeisance of reverence, gratitude, silence and transcendence.

Om Tat Sat